Weird and Wonderful Things That Happened While Traveling

​Traveling brings a lot of adventure as well as a whole lot of mistakes, from catching the wrong train, missing your flight or finding yourself in the midst of a terror attack. These are some of the travel stories I share when someone asks what crazy, funny or terrifying things happen when you carry your whole life on your back.

​Impromptu and Unwanted Haircut

It was Tomorrowland day 1 (or more like early morning day 2). I was exiting the festival ready to take the 1km long stroll back to the campsite with 10,000 other zombies. Attempting to funnel out in an orderly fashion through the stalls I could feel my hair being slightly pulled at, I turned my head and could see parts of my hair in the air like someone was lifting the ends up. I ran my hand down the back of my head brushing my hair back down and thought nothing more of it.

When I woke several hours later I tied up my hair and headed for the bathrooms, looked in the mirror while brushing my teeth and I looked like f*cking Alfalfa.

A small section of my hair on the very top of my head had been cut back to about 2 inches and some motherf**ker probably has it glued in a scrapbook or attached to a voodoo doll.

Rejected a Man and Nearly got Stabbed

I crown myself an alpha female whenever alcohol is involved and my inner alpha female, so naturally if I’m being stalked in a club by an unknown male I’m not going to shy away about asking him to leave me alone.

After 3 attempts of giving off negative hand signals in a Slovenian super club, saying ‘no’ numerous times, the same male came up behind me and touched the bare skin on my waist. I shove the male back only for him to spit in my face. In typical West Auckland fashion a verbal argument breaks out on the dance floor and I’m pushed outside. The male follows a couple of minutes later and I rark him up again about how disrespectful and disgusting he is, giving off some poor excuse about how he didn’t understand that my signal of my hand swiping across my throat, the word ‘no’ and me continuously walking away from him meant anything other than yes.

5 minutes later he’s chasing me down the street with a very large butchers knife in his hand.

That One Time I was Nearly Sold on the Black Market

Call me melodramatic but you never know when you could fall into the statistics of ‘human meat market’. I tried my best to blend into the crowd but maybe my messy hair and ripped denim shorts gave away that good showers were hard to come by alluding to a nomadic appearance.

In Amsterdam I was followed by a shorter male who after multiple attempts of waving at me from afar and getting nowhere he tapped me on the shoulder with his extended selfie stick. (No, that is not a euphemism​).

He asked me multiple questions about where I stayed and if I was alone, to which I lied for every answer. He began stepping back and ushered for me to go with him, I declined stating that I barely knew him, and his response was “it’s okay you’ll be safe”.

Ah of course, the exact sentence every female wants to hear from a strange man. Then again, I doubt my organs would have gone for much as they were coated in a thick layer of bad choices.

Being the star of a Strip Tease Silhouette Show

Ultra-Music Festival; I skipped night 2 as I had incredible pain shooting down my leg from a compressed sciatic nerve in my back. Our apartment had a street facing bathroom and I had a late-night shower however the main street outside had very limited street lights…almost non-existent.

This made for some great entertainment for the drunk lads on the street below, all I could hear was wolf whistles before realising my silhouette was being projected onto the street. Showering with the light off was a very amusing low point of the week.

Weirdo locals who hang out at Hostel Bars

This happens more than you think… people who live in the area but take to traveller’s bars like they don’t have a 9-5 job.
Most of the time they’re expats wanting to connect with people from their own country or wanting to meet travellers for good conversation, but other times they’re trying to bag a ‘vulnerable’ solo female traveller.

Lines such as “Why aren’t you drinking alcohol? Are you a pussy?” and pouring Jägermeister into my cup of tea somehow isn’t an endearing feature or patting the inside of my arm commenting on how pale it is isn’t something I would class as a compliment. I tried my best during the night to slowly shuffle myself away from him down the bench we were both sitting on but I could’ve sworn there was a magnet in my pocket.

My night in his company ended when he questioned why the British didn’t murder and eat all the native Maoris when they colonised New Zealand and then began glaring at me from across the table when I turned down his offer to go clubbing with him.

The classic “It Won’t Happen While I’m There” Terrorist Attack

Weird for the fact that you never imagine yourself in this type of situation; Barcelona August 2017 when a van rams crowds and kills 13 on La Rambla. Paul and I were in that same spot the day before and thankfully left Barcelona for the day, coming back into the city our train stops unexpectedly and an announcement comes across in Spanish, people start to panic, and we are looking like a couple of deer struck by headlights having no idea what was going on. We walked hastily from the train station straight to our hotel where we locked ourselves in for the night.

Culture Shock in Germany

I had just landed in Munich and was feening for some familiar food after a cluster f*ck of clashing cultures on my last flight (I was served porridge with corn and spring onion, not ideal and not expected). After receiving my subway sandwich I thanked the maker and said “see ya later”.

Sub man: “See you later? Why will I see you later?”

Me: “Oh.. no, sorry.. it’s a figure of speech!” *Face palm*

Sub man: “Well… I will see you later if you want me to…”

Me: “Haa!” *walks a little bit faster”

Of course from here on in I was very clear and literal in conversations with Germans, Austrians, Slovakians and anyone who I didn’t think spoke fluent sarcasm or bullshit. If travelling has taught me anything, it’s ‘be prepared for the unexpected’. You never know when a paddle around a city center pond will end in being day drunk in a neighbouring park, or you might need to run for your life with a spaghetti pie in hand.